At My Weakest Moment!

Nope, I wouldn't say I was at one of my weakest moments...

I awoke to a beautiful Sunday morning. Went downtstairs and made the 25 cups of rice for today's fellowship, had a hot cup of coffee and ate fresh pomello with my husband. Both girls woke up in a fabulous mood, which is a rare event by the way, and we sang Bible songs as we dressed them for church. Things were going pretty smoothly and I was feeling pretty good about my day!

We arrived at the Lilia's Place Church and was happily greeted by all of our moms and kids. Several fathers were also waiting to come to service. I spoke to Jobelyn before entering our place and she informed me that Wilmar was doing well and feeling much stronger. He was hoping to be able to come to church next week. Yep, it was going to be a pretty good day!

Church began and how fabulous it was to see all of our moms, children, a few fathers and a couple of guests in attendance. We had 66 in all! The room was crowded and the little ones were a bit noisy, but it was all great! It was going to be a fabulous service!

Caidy and I headed out with the children, 34 in all, to begin our children's worship service. Today our lesson was on the story of Cain and Abel. We both had wonderful lessons to present. She did her thing with the older children and I did my thing with the younger children. Both classes were very attentive and the students truly enjoyed learning about Cain and Abel. Yep, just about broke my arm patting myself on the back for such a good lesson!

Lunch fellowship with our families went very smoothly. They all enjoyed the chicken with vegetables and rice. A couple of our mothers, Joy and Criselda, had done the cooking and Ronald said it was pretty delicious! There was great conversation and one could feel the bonding that was taking place in the room. God was present and I was elated! The work was going well and I could see God's purpose!

We dropped Ronald and Caidy off at their place and wished Ronald safe travels as he goes to Mindanao for some family business this week. We then headed to the store to get a loaf of bread for lunch. The girls and I were sitting in the car and listening to music as Doug ran inside. I was feeling very content and that's when Satan struck!

Softly the lyrics began to "We are not Afraid" and I was quickly whisked back into time, our going away party at Sugar Grove. This song was sang that evening and it was one of the most painful evenings of my life. All of a sudden I was sobbing uncontrollably and asking God how He could have separated me from my sons, my family, my church, everything I  held so dear. The grief was mind numbing and everything I had been feeling that morning was completely forgotten. "Why God, Why," was all I could manage through my sobs. At that moment, I would have traded it all in for a one way ticket to Houston. I was hurting so badly and all I wanted was to have my sons and my old life back.  Lilia quickly jumped on my lap and took my face between her little hands and said, "Look at me, Mama. Stop crying, it is okay, God says it is okay." I held her and rocked back and forth and somehow managed to get control of myself.

It wasn't one of my finest moments as a mother or as a Christian and looking back on it I cringe in horror. Satan had managed to get through to my heart when I least expected it. For several minutes I let him rob me of my joy and became blinded to my selfish feelings. I was at my weakest and God stepped in when I needed Him most. A few songs later, "You're the God of this City" began to play. Yes, even God uses inspirational music to speak to His servants. There are greater things to be done in this city and I am so glad my God is bigger than anything Satan can throw my way! Especially when I am my weakest moment!