After the boys left, I struggled with depression and a sense of purpose. However, each day we continued to go and do the work and and every little smile seemed to be a ray of motivation that my heart needed. The biggest motivator was the need to find housing for my families that were in fear of being separated by the local government. Doug and I were in constant prayer over this matter and just when it seemed like our prayers were being answered, I received a phone call from Chandler. He was in severe pain and was being taken to the hospital by Dr. Mark and Jake for further evaluation. He was diagnosed with a kidney stone. He was given pain medicine and sent home. Nothing too serious, he will pass it and it will all be fine. Doug and I got closer to finalizing the deal for our first two F.A.I.T.H. (Finding Assurance In Trusting Him) Homes. It was very exciting to see what God was doing and then comes the second call from Chandler.
He was once again in pain and was on his way back to the hospital. This time, he was going to have to undergo a procedure. It was a minor procedure, but still, it required anesthesia and that frightened me. During my 14 months here in Cebu I have experienced many highs and many lows, but none so low as on this night. For the first time I was truly angry at God for bringing me here. I didn't want to be helping anyone else's child, I only wanted to be with my children, the one who was in pain and the other one who was having to be strong for his brother. I spent the night walking the floor and praying, mostly I was asking God why he chose me. My place was not here, it was back in Texas with my sons. It was a very dark night for me, the anger was like bile in my throat. The feelings of helplessness and frustration were all consuming. It was a relief when we received word that he was in recovery and was doing fine, but the situation had taken its toll on me and my heart.
The next morning we had a meeting with the owner of the property we were trying to lease for our F.A.I.T.H. Homes. Doug and I had spent much time in prayer over the outcome of this meeting and it was a big step for Lilia's Place. God answered prayers and the owner agreed to the price we could afford for the properties. We were going to be able to get at least 8 of our families off of the streets. As I watched our mothers signing the contracts I knew my heart should have been leaping for joy, but sadly, it wasn't. I was still aching at not being able to be with my sons and I was in big doubt as to why I was even here.
The families were very anxious to see their new homes and couldn't wait to be off of the dirty streets. They packed their few belongings and met us at the homes. The joy on the faces of everyone of the children and mothers is something I am unable to describe in words. Still, my heart was not as it should have been. It was not until Rosevlyn, a mother of two, gave me a big hug and said through her tears, "I have prayed every night for a home." It was at that moment that my heart burst with joy and I heard God say in a very loud voice, "Lisa, this is why you are here!"
While I had been praying and asking God why, Rosevlyn had been saying her own prayers. It shook me to the core to realize that God had answered Rosevlyn's prayers with Lilia's Place. We are here because God needs us to be here! It is that plain and simple. HE is in control. These families have no one else to look after them, my sons were blessed to have Dr. Mark and Randy looking after them. God had not left any business unattended. He had all of HIS servants in place. All praise to God, Chandler is well and has begun his junior year at Abilene Christian University! Thank you for your many prayers and words of encouragement.
I am not saying it is easy, because it isn't. Being separated from our sons is the greatest sacrifice of all, and when I am in doubt I will find peace in knowing that I am serving HIS purpose for me and that HE is using me to answer prayers of another one of HIS precious children.
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